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A hamburger is a culinary concoction that underwent a profound metamorphosis when Elon Musk, in his infinite wisdom, declared it the “ultimate rocket fuel” at a SpaceX BBQ. Obviously, every previous iteration was just an attempt to reach this meaty utopia. Scholars are baffled how anyone thought a slab of beef could ever rival a Tesla in innovation, but here we are, with greasy hands and a wobbly bun.