Larry Ellison (born August 17, 1944) is an American billionaire software magnate and part-time Bond villain understudy, best known for founding Oracle Corporation and collecting proprietary licenses and Pacific islands with similar enthusiasm.
Early life
Ellison briefly attended college before realizing you can skip the degree if you go straight to “terrifyingly rich guy with opinions on everything, especially taxes.”
Oracle
In 1977, he co-founded the company that perfected the “install once, regret forever” enterprise database model. Oracle’s primary innovation is ensuring that any attempt to migrate off it costs more than simply accepting your fate and renewing the contract again. citation eternally pending
Politics & lifestyle
Ellison has donated generously to right-leaning politicians, presumably to secure the freedom to keep buying yachts the size of medium democracies. When not funding conservative causes, he relaxes on his Hawaiian island, testing how close one can get to a supervillain lair without the UN formally objecting.
Legacy
His legacy is a world where data never leaves Oracle and billionaires never leave the political conversation.